It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You're like the curious george of whores
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
