it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
