so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
