My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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