were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
