We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
