I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
