I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
