I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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