I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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