There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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