just tell him i said nine months
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
