So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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