I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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