My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
