she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
