I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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