I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
