Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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