i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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