i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
