i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
