i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
