Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we're making bets on your personal life
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
