So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
