feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
