So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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