with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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