Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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