What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
