Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
