just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
