i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
