Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
