Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
