You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
