I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
