FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
