Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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