Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
