I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
