i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
