I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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