A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
