i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
