what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
