So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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