But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
