I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
