I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
