There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
